Hellfire and Damnation Essay -- essays papers

glarefire and damnationLooking back on my childhood, I live with many memories shrouded in fear and self-loathing. I was raised in the Baptist church building. My mother and nanna do sure that I attended church every Sunday morning. My grandmother was from the mid- atomic number 74. She carried her strict Bible belt background with her as she traveled west with my grandfather. The many lessons I learned from my grandmother and the minister at our church played a big part in how I began to try the world and my jell in it.It would seem, looking back now, that the whole stern for my teachings during those early years was fear. I had the most intense fear of passing play to Hell. The only thing matchless had to know about Hell was that it was the place where ones worst nightmares became real. The really horrible part was that Hell was for eternity. This one life that I had to live could determine whether or non eternity would be heaven or hell. From my experience as a five-yea r-old, I knew that most things usually turned out wrong on the first try, so the thought of having to get it right in and one try damn near paralyzed me.With Hell as the ultimate punishment, I began press release about the business of learning how to butt endcel it. It seems that there was a angle of inclination a mile recollective of things that one should or shouldnt do that would put one in the favorable graces of the Lord. Do not hang out with the pagans down the street (there was a Mormon Church about two blocks down). Do not steep in pre-marital sex. Never masturbate. This is fairish to name a few the list seems to go on and on.As if the list of things to avoid was not long enough, the minister of our small congregation was always preaching about how nauseating of Gods love we were. It seemed his favorite... ...to find those truths for myself. In so doing, I was to create my own thought system. I postulateed a belief system that would give me a firm foundation an d the strength to typeface life. I did not want a belief system that was going to paralyze me with fear. I still, to this day, do battle with the imaginary demons that were placed in my head as a child. My feelings of being unworthy sometimes surface, scarce more often than not I feel confident and uninvolved following my heart. I feel that God would much rather have me happy and spreading happiness than miserable and spreading misery. Christianity to me these days is just another institution set up by those few who want to take advantage and control the weak and tired majority. I can no longer live in fear, so I must(prenominal) stand up and refuse to listen to anyone claiming to know whats opera hat for me. My heart is my only true guide.